Chemo Brain

Warning: Blogger suffers from chemo brain-The struggle is real, y'all!

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Faith's 7:30 am-Sunday morning and I have been up since 3! This is not really unusual for me since not being able to sleep at night is one of my biggest issues (well, aside from breast cancer!) these days! I just can't seem to turn off my brain sometimes!

This morning I kept thinking about some of the emotional and spiritual aspects of dealing with cancer. Between the lack of sleep and severe chemo brain, I'm not sure I can communicate coherently all of the thoughts going through my head, but it goes something like this-

I think that somewhere inside all of us is a need to understand our existence in this world. For those of us who are dealing with cancer or some other life-threatening disease, we are forced to give more thought to particular questions. I tend to spend a little more time on the "whys" and "what ifs" since I was diagnosed. It IS unfortunate that I usually tend to ponder these questions in the middle of the night, but there is nothing I can do about that!

My spiritual faith is a major component in providing me with the hope and strength needed to deal with the crisis of my breast cancer diagnosis, but that doesn't mean I don't have the occasional meltdown, or as they are known here in the South-a good old fashioned hissy fit!

It's OKAY to acknowledge the fear, sadness, and depression that sometimes creeps into our daily life. Dealing with a cancer diagnosis isn't easy. There are always new fears that tend to pop up as we go through treatments.

I don't think that having the occasional "hissy fit," or feeling anything other than happy and content means that I am in any way giving up, or somehow questioning my faith! It also doesn't mean that I am weak.

So, even though there are times that I feel so overwhelmed by all of the decisions to make regarding my treatment, the side effects of chemo and many other aspects of having received that cancer diagnosis, I will continue to BELIEVE! I will also do everything I can to get healthy and to continue growing in my FAITH!

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